1 00:00:03,320 --> 00:00:09,440 ... 2 00:00:09,640 --> 00:00:11,840 -It's okay, we will be able to start. 3 00:00:13,720 --> 00:00:16,200 -I start reading, quite simply? 4 00:00:17,280 --> 00:00:20,120 -Yes. say something, please. 5 00:00:21,160 --> 00:00:23,640 -One, two, three four. 6 00:00:28,840 --> 00:00:30,200 -It records. 7 00:00:30,960 --> 00:00:32,080 -All right. 8 00:00:32,400 --> 00:00:33,600 So... 9 00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:36,480 This is my first diary. 10 00:00:43,080 --> 00:00:45,200 Where... do I start? 11 00:00:46,160 --> 00:00:47,720 -From the beginning. 12 00:00:53,440 --> 00:00:55,880 -Okay, it's really the very beginning 13 00:00:56,200 --> 00:00:57,840 which I am going to read. 14 00:01:04,360 --> 00:01:06,040 “Well, let’s go. 15 00:01:06,880 --> 00:01:10,560 “Painful moment and almost insurmountable for me. 16 00:01:12,320 --> 00:01:14,480 “Overcome my reluctance and deliver me, 17 00:01:14,680 --> 00:01:15,680 "to a candid piece 18 00:01:16,000 --> 00:01:17,680 "of graph paper. 19 00:01:18,520 --> 00:01:20,360 “So much inhibition. 20 00:01:20,680 --> 00:01:24,720 "I don't dare express things, let them flow freely. 21 00:01:25,040 --> 00:01:26,840 "It will be necessary, however, 22 00:01:27,960 --> 00:01:31,680 "if I want to give my life a course reasonable and satisfactory." 23 00:01:32,000 --> 00:01:33,960 Suspense music 24 00:01:34,160 --> 00:01:38,200 ... 25 00:01:42,760 --> 00:01:45,680 ♪ -Correspondence channel number 2. 26 00:01:45,880 --> 00:01:48,160 Don't forget to validate your ticket 27 00:01:48,360 --> 00:01:50,200 before accessing the platform. 28 00:01:50,880 --> 00:01:52,720 Your attention, please. 29 00:01:52,920 --> 00:01:55,720 The regional train to Deventer 30 00:01:56,040 --> 00:01:57,960 will leave platform number 3. 31 00:01:59,280 --> 00:02:07,280 ... 32 00:02:54,680 --> 00:02:59,120 ... 33 00:02:59,320 --> 00:03:02,280 -Mom? Dad ? 34 00:03:02,480 --> 00:03:10,480 ... 35 00:03:37,520 --> 00:03:38,640 -Etty! 36 00:03:38,960 --> 00:03:42,160 It's good, you're here. Jaap said you were working. 37 00:03:42,360 --> 00:03:44,040 -I was able to catch the train. 38 00:03:45,400 --> 00:03:46,440 Any news? 39 00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:48,280 -No, still not. 40 00:03:48,600 --> 00:03:50,880 It's been hours, but no sign of him. 41 00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:58,400 -So, how did it go? Can you tell me? 42 00:03:58,720 --> 00:04:00,200 When did he disappear? 43 00:04:00,400 --> 00:04:02,720 -Mom is dying to say it. 44 00:04:03,560 --> 00:04:05,680 -Your mother will tell you. 45 00:04:51,760 --> 00:04:53,000 -Maybe that’s why? 46 00:04:57,880 --> 00:05:00,520 -I didn't say anything. I don't blame you. 47 00:05:16,640 --> 00:05:18,280 -Mischa! 48 00:05:48,800 --> 00:05:50,360 -Mischa! 49 00:05:54,280 --> 00:06:02,280 ... 50 00:06:16,960 --> 00:06:19,160 -Hillesum! - Jaap! 51 00:06:19,960 --> 00:06:22,640 - Max! - Jaap. I hear you, where are you? 52 00:06:22,840 --> 00:06:24,080 -Hillesum! 53 00:06:24,800 --> 00:06:26,120 - Jaap! - This way! 54 00:06:27,120 --> 00:06:28,440 - Oh yes ! - We're here! 55 00:06:28,600 --> 00:06:30,280 -Yes. Great. 56 00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:32,000 Good evening. 57 00:06:32,200 --> 00:06:34,080 - Good evening, Mr. Hillesum. - Good evening. 58 00:06:34,400 --> 00:06:36,200 How are you ? - Good evening, boys. 59 00:06:36,400 --> 00:06:38,800 You can speak to me informally, it's not school anymore. 60 00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:40,000 - Hi. - Hi. 61 00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:42,040 -Good evening. Pooh ? 62 00:06:42,360 --> 00:06:44,200 - Etty? - Hello, Max. 63 00:06:44,400 --> 00:06:45,720 -I didn't know you were there. 64 00:06:46,040 --> 00:06:47,320 It's nice. 65 00:06:47,640 --> 00:06:49,040 -Yes. Well... 66 00:06:49,240 --> 00:06:51,280 Are you okay? - Yes. 67 00:06:51,480 --> 00:06:54,560 - I didn't know you were still here. - We can't all 68 00:06:54,880 --> 00:06:55,920 succeed like you. 69 00:06:56,120 --> 00:06:58,160 - I didn't mean that. - Yes, it's okay. 70 00:06:58,360 --> 00:07:01,040 It's going pretty well. I found a good job, 71 00:07:01,240 --> 00:07:03,560 I work for the community as secretary. 72 00:07:03,880 --> 00:07:06,120 - That's great. - It's not either 73 00:07:06,440 --> 00:07:09,760 delusional. We are all waiting Let Etty Hillesum do better. 74 00:07:10,640 --> 00:07:13,680 -The expectations of others don't move me forward. 75 00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:14,800 -Max, are you coming? 76 00:07:15,000 --> 00:07:16,240 -Yes. 77 00:07:16,560 --> 00:07:18,880 Etty, this is Tobias, a very good friend. 78 00:07:19,080 --> 00:07:20,800 - Hi. Tobias. - Etty. 79 00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:24,000 -He is not in service, but he helps out. 80 00:07:25,680 --> 00:07:27,760 -It's okay to help our principal. 81 00:07:27,960 --> 00:07:30,240 In any case, for your son, Max called me 82 00:07:30,560 --> 00:07:32,560 and explained to me what was happening. 83 00:07:32,760 --> 00:07:35,000 Normally, we do nothing before 48 hours. 84 00:07:35,320 --> 00:07:37,600 You think that he would harm himself? 85 00:07:37,920 --> 00:07:39,280 -He would never do that. 86 00:07:39,480 --> 00:07:43,160 -He left a letter where he said that he would rather end it 87 00:07:43,480 --> 00:07:46,160 than return to the institute. - He's not suicidal. 88 00:07:46,480 --> 00:07:48,480 -Let's define the word suicidal. 89 00:07:50,160 --> 00:07:52,800 -In the meantime, I'm afraid that he went 90 00:07:53,120 --> 00:07:55,520 in Amsterdam where the curfew is all night. 91 00:07:55,720 --> 00:07:56,720 -His friends have been warned. 92 00:07:58,000 --> 00:08:00,120 -If he is outside, it can be dangerous. 93 00:08:02,320 --> 00:08:04,840 -I alerted the police on site, just in case. 94 00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:22,240 I'm sure he'll come back. 95 00:08:30,800 --> 00:08:33,120 -No. Only until 6 a.m. 96 00:08:33,320 --> 00:08:35,960 There is soon a train to Amsterdam. 97 00:08:39,720 --> 00:08:47,720 ... 98 00:09:08,040 --> 00:09:09,560 Piano 99 00:09:09,760 --> 00:09:17,760 ... 100 00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:28,360 Misha! 101 00:09:29,280 --> 00:09:30,800 -Han said I could stay. 102 00:09:31,120 --> 00:09:34,520 He told me that I had to... - Are you sick or something? 103 00:09:34,840 --> 00:09:37,240 ... 104 00:09:37,440 --> 00:09:39,560 We looked for you all night in the forest. 105 00:09:39,880 --> 00:09:42,280 What did you do, where were you? 106 00:09:42,480 --> 00:09:43,600 -At Alexandra’s, 107 00:09:43,920 --> 00:09:45,400 but she kicked me out. 108 00:09:46,640 --> 00:09:48,880 -I'm calling mom and dad, they will come 109 00:09:49,080 --> 00:09:50,920 and you will rest at home. 110 00:09:51,240 --> 00:09:53,560 -Wait, I need only 3 or 4 days. 111 00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:56,120 And I will return Thursday, before the concert. 112 00:09:56,440 --> 00:09:59,560 -If you don't come home today, there will be no concert. 113 00:09:59,880 --> 00:10:03,160 They're going to cancel it. And stop to play when I talk to you! 114 00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:11,000 And even if they don't cancel it, 115 00:10:11,320 --> 00:10:14,480 you know that when you play like this, H 24, 116 00:10:14,680 --> 00:10:17,640 several days in a row, you end up collapsing. 117 00:10:17,840 --> 00:10:20,760 You won't be able to get up So there will be no concert. 118 00:10:20,960 --> 00:10:23,560 -Okay, then there won't be in concert. 119 00:10:26,680 --> 00:10:28,840 You don't seem to understand... 120 00:10:29,720 --> 00:10:32,960 These electroshocks, they destroy my music. 121 00:10:34,440 --> 00:10:36,760 It's as if the notes, 122 00:10:37,080 --> 00:10:40,760 which have 3 dimensions, there, 123 00:10:40,960 --> 00:10:43,560 they had more only one. 124 00:10:43,760 --> 00:10:46,280 Do you understand? 125 00:10:46,600 --> 00:10:49,600 Little by little, they become skeletons. 126 00:10:49,800 --> 00:10:51,400 -No, but I understand. 127 00:10:51,720 --> 00:10:53,880 But you can't run away in the middle of the night. 128 00:10:54,080 --> 00:10:55,360 -Really, do you understand? 129 00:10:56,400 --> 00:10:58,560 You felt it at my last recital? 130 00:10:58,760 --> 00:11:00,440 -Stop, I never said that. 131 00:11:00,760 --> 00:11:02,520 Nobody plays like you 132 00:11:02,840 --> 00:11:04,200 in this city, you know that. 133 00:11:05,560 --> 00:11:09,640 We will explain to them. There must be another treatment. 134 00:11:10,680 --> 00:11:13,360 We must be able to stop electroshocks. 135 00:11:14,160 --> 00:11:16,840 I'm going to check with mom and dad. 136 00:11:18,480 --> 00:11:20,480 And also, I said to myself... 137 00:11:21,640 --> 00:11:24,480 Right now I'm seeing someone who could help you. 138 00:11:26,560 --> 00:11:29,440 - A psychiatrist? - No, no. Nothing to see. 139 00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:33,320 It's something else. He arrives from Berlin. 140 00:11:33,520 --> 00:11:35,480 It's been 2 years since it opened his office. 141 00:11:35,680 --> 00:11:38,200 And he's a great person. 142 00:11:38,400 --> 00:11:41,360 It works on the palms hands. His methods 143 00:11:41,680 --> 00:11:43,520 are special... -Julius Spier? 144 00:11:44,680 --> 00:11:45,800 -Yes. 145 00:11:46,560 --> 00:11:48,640 Do you know him? - Obviously. 146 00:11:48,960 --> 00:11:51,240 Everyone knows him. 147 00:11:52,320 --> 00:11:54,200 Are you in therapy with him? 148 00:11:54,400 --> 00:11:56,000 -I went to see him 2-3 times. 149 00:12:01,120 --> 00:12:03,000 I can take appointment for you. 150 00:12:08,640 --> 00:12:11,320 And I can take you there too, if you want. 151 00:12:17,480 --> 00:12:18,640 -Yes. 152 00:12:19,880 --> 00:12:21,840 -Come on, let's do this. I will warn 153 00:12:22,160 --> 00:12:23,400 mom and dad, okay? 154 00:12:27,520 --> 00:12:29,040 Do you agree? 155 00:12:32,440 --> 00:12:34,840 They are crazy worry, Mischa. 156 00:12:36,200 --> 00:12:38,000 They're going to take you home. 157 00:12:38,200 --> 00:12:41,920 You're going to rest, already, and then we will notify. 158 00:12:43,920 --> 00:12:46,320 -I am very touched, really. 159 00:12:47,120 --> 00:12:49,920 That you care as much of my fate. 160 00:12:53,520 --> 00:12:55,680 But we're going to stop all this hypocrisy. 161 00:12:57,160 --> 00:13:00,360 You just want me to leave as quickly as possible, 162 00:13:00,560 --> 00:13:02,680 and be rid of of the Mischa problem. 163 00:13:02,880 --> 00:13:04,320 -Not at all, it's not true. 164 00:13:04,640 --> 00:13:07,560 -Maybe we can spare yourself this charade? 165 00:13:10,240 --> 00:13:12,440 Altruism is not the stronghold of the family. 166 00:13:16,400 --> 00:13:19,760 If you want to take me to Spier's, it’s that you want to do it to yourself. 167 00:13:21,720 --> 00:13:23,720 You think you're different. 168 00:13:25,040 --> 00:13:27,520 But you really are a Hillesum, Etty. 169 00:13:27,720 --> 00:13:29,680 Carrier of the same genes. 170 00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:32,880 Don't imagine that you were spared. 171 00:13:52,080 --> 00:13:53,960 Disturbing music 172 00:13:54,280 --> 00:14:02,280 ... 173 00:15:22,520 --> 00:15:24,760 Soft music 174 00:15:24,960 --> 00:15:32,960 ... 175 00:15:47,680 --> 00:15:49,000 Applause 176 00:15:49,200 --> 00:15:54,360 ... 177 00:15:54,560 --> 00:15:55,680 -Thank you. 178 00:15:55,880 --> 00:15:58,320 Thank you my friends. Thank you for your generosity. 179 00:15:58,520 --> 00:15:59,760 Laughter 180 00:15:59,960 --> 00:16:02,080 Sincerely, a big thank you to everyone. 181 00:16:02,280 --> 00:16:05,360 I am grateful to you to have bad taste. 182 00:16:05,560 --> 00:16:07,600 Otherwise you wouldn't be reunited 183 00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:10,520 at the poor Jewish refugee that I am, 184 00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:13,400 in this bubble that we created here, 185 00:16:13,600 --> 00:16:15,800 since the beginning of the occupation. 186 00:16:17,200 --> 00:16:19,400 Let's get started, if you want it. 187 00:16:19,600 --> 00:16:23,320 Here is a rather fascinating case, met recently. 188 00:16:23,520 --> 00:16:27,080 -Mr. Spier, sorry but can you explain your method? 189 00:16:27,400 --> 00:16:30,600 She is controversial and I would like to know more... 190 00:16:30,800 --> 00:16:34,040 -Sorry, Mr. Spier will explain when he has spoken. 191 00:16:34,240 --> 00:16:36,320 He will be delighted to enlighten the skeptics. 192 00:16:36,640 --> 00:16:39,320 Laughter 193 00:16:39,960 --> 00:16:42,600 -The subject of study is a young woman of 27 years old, 194 00:16:42,800 --> 00:16:45,280 Russian-Dutch, of Jewish origin. 195 00:16:46,800 --> 00:16:50,320 She is a student, suffers from generalized anxiety 196 00:16:50,520 --> 00:16:51,320 and depression, 197 00:16:51,520 --> 00:16:54,040 with demonstrations psychosomatics. 198 00:16:55,120 --> 00:16:57,640 I draw your attention on the way 199 00:16:57,960 --> 00:17:01,040 whose transversals are under the mount of Saturn. 200 00:17:01,360 --> 00:17:05,280 We are clearly in the presence of a very inhibited personality. 201 00:17:05,600 --> 00:17:08,880 And look, the anxiety line on the mount of Venus. 202 00:17:09,200 --> 00:17:12,720 We can see the rigidity emotional structures, 203 00:17:12,920 --> 00:17:16,120 which reflects a lack of adaptability. The right hand. 204 00:17:19,880 --> 00:17:21,320 We also see 205 00:17:21,640 --> 00:17:23,760 that the right thumb is very closed, 206 00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:25,920 he hinders personal development. 207 00:17:26,240 --> 00:17:28,240 Look here, this spiral. 208 00:17:30,120 --> 00:17:32,360 Lots of ambition, talent, 209 00:17:32,680 --> 00:17:35,880 but yet, nothing concrete or accomplished. 210 00:17:37,160 --> 00:17:41,520 Nothing that is here has ever reaches its true potential. 211 00:17:41,840 --> 00:17:44,240 All this is mainly due to 212 00:17:44,440 --> 00:17:46,880 anxiety and inhibitions. 213 00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:50,680 Before going into details, please keep in mind 214 00:17:50,880 --> 00:17:53,560 the need for treatment. 215 00:17:53,880 --> 00:17:58,120 Palmistry is a good tool diagnosing a patient, 216 00:17:58,440 --> 00:18:02,200 only, you should never forget the main question: 217 00:18:02,400 --> 00:18:05,080 how can we help this person? 218 00:18:06,720 --> 00:18:09,880 -Excuse me, Mr. Spier, the real question 219 00:18:10,200 --> 00:18:11,840 isn't she: “Can we help him”? 220 00:18:12,160 --> 00:18:15,360 -I'll say it again, for your questions, you will have time. 221 00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:21,760 -Ultimately, everything is linked to the person's ability 222 00:18:22,080 --> 00:18:26,040 to surpass one's own limits, to tend towards bigger. 223 00:18:27,640 --> 00:18:29,200 What we have here... 224 00:18:30,200 --> 00:18:32,320 -What are you doing here? 225 00:18:32,520 --> 00:18:34,440 Come with me. 226 00:18:34,640 --> 00:18:36,880 -No. I want to listen to it. 227 00:18:39,360 --> 00:18:40,920 -And the total lack of interest 228 00:18:41,240 --> 00:18:44,160 outside of her. The feeling failure is inevitable. 229 00:18:44,360 --> 00:18:45,880 - Etty, come on. - No, I'm staying. 230 00:18:46,080 --> 00:18:47,200 - Etty. - No ! 231 00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:51,560 Murmurs in the audience 232 00:18:51,760 --> 00:18:53,040 -Etty, wait! 233 00:18:57,600 --> 00:19:00,320 I remind you that it is 100% anonymous. 234 00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:04,440 Nobody knows he's talking about you. - Thank you, I understand. 235 00:19:13,400 --> 00:19:14,520 -It's decided 236 00:19:14,840 --> 00:19:17,480 before the session and I didn't think that you would be there. 237 00:19:26,680 --> 00:19:28,560 What did you come for? 238 00:19:31,440 --> 00:19:34,000 -Make an appointment for Mischa. 239 00:19:35,960 --> 00:19:37,400 -You could also call me, 240 00:19:37,720 --> 00:19:40,320 I'm here for that. - Yes. Damage. 241 00:19:40,520 --> 00:19:42,800 Applause 242 00:19:43,120 --> 00:19:46,600 ... 243 00:19:46,920 --> 00:19:49,320 I'm leaving. - No, no. 244 00:19:49,640 --> 00:19:52,360 I don't want you to go away, not like that. 245 00:19:55,280 --> 00:19:58,960 Can you wait a bit here? - What am I waiting for? 246 00:19:59,160 --> 00:20:02,080 -I'm sure he'll want to to explain to you. 247 00:20:02,400 --> 00:20:04,240 -There's Han waiting for me. 248 00:20:04,440 --> 00:20:07,160 I promised him I would come home before curfew. 249 00:20:07,360 --> 00:20:09,240 -Well, you have some room. 250 00:20:11,800 --> 00:20:14,440 -I've heard enough for today. 251 00:20:14,640 --> 00:20:16,160 -Etty... 252 00:20:18,720 --> 00:20:22,080 Wait, stay again a little bit, please. 253 00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:29,480 -I'll call you when I get home. 254 00:20:34,920 --> 00:20:36,360 -I'll make you some tea, come on. 255 00:20:36,680 --> 00:20:39,120 -We'll leave it there for tonight. 256 00:20:39,320 --> 00:20:42,920 My dear friends, it's soon curfew time. 257 00:20:43,120 --> 00:20:45,680 Well, for those it concerns. 258 00:20:45,880 --> 00:20:48,960 In other words: the Jews, outside. 259 00:20:49,160 --> 00:20:50,680 Laughter 260 00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:55,880 ... 261 00:20:59,280 --> 00:21:01,680 Piano 262 00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:10,000 ... 263 00:21:41,600 --> 00:21:49,600 ... 264 00:22:01,640 --> 00:22:02,680 -Etty? 265 00:22:05,960 --> 00:22:08,200 -Is your conference already over? 266 00:22:08,400 --> 00:22:10,880 -Yes. I'm sorry, it dragged on. 267 00:22:12,480 --> 00:22:13,560 -Yeah. 268 00:22:14,520 --> 00:22:15,600 Perfect... 269 00:22:17,520 --> 00:22:18,600 But hey... 270 00:22:19,560 --> 00:22:21,000 I have to go. 271 00:22:22,120 --> 00:22:23,480 The curfew. 272 00:22:23,880 --> 00:22:26,520 -Would you like move away from the edge? 273 00:22:27,360 --> 00:22:28,360 -No, 274 00:22:28,680 --> 00:22:30,160 you can rest easy. 275 00:22:30,360 --> 00:22:33,360 I don't have suicidal impulses, according to an expert. 276 00:22:35,200 --> 00:22:36,480 But you have to be careful, 277 00:22:36,680 --> 00:22:39,240 we don't always know what people say behind your back. 278 00:22:39,920 --> 00:22:41,000 Perhaps it is better, 279 00:22:41,320 --> 00:22:44,800 indeed, that I move away from the edge. 280 00:22:45,120 --> 00:22:47,400 -I'm really sorry. I want to believe 281 00:22:47,600 --> 00:22:49,720 that it made you a funny feeling. 282 00:22:51,080 --> 00:22:54,080 -I admit that it is interesting as an experience. 283 00:22:55,640 --> 00:22:58,720 It's as if I had witnessed at my funeral... 284 00:22:59,600 --> 00:23:00,720 except... 285 00:23:02,760 --> 00:23:05,120 there we said only negative things. 286 00:23:06,320 --> 00:23:07,440 -Not quite... 287 00:23:07,640 --> 00:23:10,680 -But it's good to know what you think of me. 288 00:23:11,960 --> 00:23:14,560 What my hands betray, in reality... 289 00:23:14,760 --> 00:23:17,440 that you could not tell me in my eyes. 290 00:23:17,640 --> 00:23:18,640 -To be fair, 291 00:23:18,960 --> 00:23:21,640 this is all a lot more complex than that... 292 00:23:21,960 --> 00:23:26,080 -What's so complex to say? that I never accomplished anything? 293 00:23:27,080 --> 00:23:29,160 At the same time, It’s not false, right? 294 00:23:33,520 --> 00:23:36,160 It's a bit violent, but it's the truth. 295 00:23:38,560 --> 00:23:41,840 Law studies for a master's degree that is worthless. 296 00:23:43,160 --> 00:23:46,000 10 years of writing to achieve absolutely nothing. 297 00:23:46,200 --> 00:23:49,160 No husband, no kids, not that I want to. 298 00:23:51,520 --> 00:23:53,720 A lousy salary of private teacher. 299 00:23:54,840 --> 00:23:56,120 A depression. 300 00:23:57,840 --> 00:24:00,000 A lot of pain, physical disorders. 301 00:24:02,960 --> 00:24:05,400 And I confirm, I'm only 27 years old. 302 00:24:08,920 --> 00:24:11,400 -We all have this desire at some point 303 00:24:11,600 --> 00:24:14,200 to leave despair take over. 304 00:24:15,520 --> 00:24:17,240 Especially these days. 305 00:24:17,440 --> 00:24:19,040 It's so tempting. 306 00:24:21,240 --> 00:24:23,760 Only, there is another possibility. 307 00:24:27,160 --> 00:24:29,400 -What did you tell him? to the girl? 308 00:24:31,720 --> 00:24:34,200 That someone could still save me? 309 00:24:35,080 --> 00:24:37,720 -That it depended on you largely. 310 00:24:38,040 --> 00:24:41,240 But that so much that there will not have been... 311 00:24:42,440 --> 00:24:45,000 from you, a change of consciousness... 312 00:24:46,480 --> 00:24:49,880 as long as you remain a prisoner of your thought patterns, 313 00:24:50,200 --> 00:24:54,320 I have a hard time imagining that you can change. 314 00:24:56,120 --> 00:24:57,120 -But... 315 00:24:57,760 --> 00:25:00,400 what kind of change would it be necessary? 316 00:25:00,600 --> 00:25:01,720 I don't understand. 317 00:25:03,200 --> 00:25:05,720 -To summarize, everything that is here... 318 00:25:07,120 --> 00:25:08,680 must come there. 319 00:25:10,320 --> 00:25:11,320 -And how? 320 00:25:13,200 --> 00:25:14,320 -Exercises. 321 00:25:15,360 --> 00:25:17,560 To begin with, it's very good. 322 00:25:18,800 --> 00:25:20,840 The exercises can help you... 323 00:25:21,040 --> 00:25:23,480 to access directly to your soul. 324 00:25:25,000 --> 00:25:27,760 And in my opinion, you are capable of doing it. 325 00:25:28,680 --> 00:25:29,680 -How you can 326 00:25:30,000 --> 00:25:31,400 be sure of that? 327 00:25:31,600 --> 00:25:33,600 -Because I see you. 328 00:25:35,440 --> 00:25:36,760 I think of you. 329 00:25:38,640 --> 00:25:39,640 Often. 330 00:25:42,960 --> 00:25:44,960 Since your first visit. 331 00:25:53,560 --> 00:25:54,600 -It's... 332 00:25:59,760 --> 00:26:00,760 Thank you. 333 00:26:09,960 --> 00:26:10,960 -Actually, 334 00:26:11,280 --> 00:26:14,520 what I would like is to do with you these exercises. 335 00:26:16,640 --> 00:26:17,640 -Thank you, but... 336 00:26:17,960 --> 00:26:20,640 I have to go. - You can stay there 337 00:26:20,960 --> 00:26:21,960 this night. 338 00:26:24,880 --> 00:26:26,800 - No, it'll be fine. - Some students 339 00:26:27,120 --> 00:26:29,280 sleep here. Those who live a little far away. 340 00:26:29,480 --> 00:26:31,400 We're going to put down mattresses in the living room. 341 00:26:34,560 --> 00:26:36,480 -I'm not sure... 342 00:26:39,720 --> 00:26:41,320 to want to be... 343 00:26:42,680 --> 00:26:45,040 in your harem, to be honest. 344 00:26:51,000 --> 00:26:54,120 Anyway, I said that I was coming back, we're going to worry. 345 00:26:54,320 --> 00:26:55,680 -Call them. 346 00:26:56,760 --> 00:26:57,760 They will understand 347 00:26:58,080 --> 00:26:59,600 if you explain it to them. 348 00:27:13,280 --> 00:27:15,160 -I like the drawings. 349 00:27:16,280 --> 00:27:17,440 -Okay, we're moving forward. 350 00:27:18,840 --> 00:27:20,360 -Keep my diary? 351 00:27:21,560 --> 00:27:23,880 -Every morning and every evening of the week. 352 00:27:24,640 --> 00:27:26,960 Minimum, half an hour in total. 353 00:27:28,000 --> 00:27:30,120 You start tomorrow morning. 354 00:27:33,000 --> 00:27:36,560 -I thought I would have more to do that, once she grows up. 355 00:27:39,640 --> 00:27:41,120 You know... 356 00:27:41,320 --> 00:27:43,040 when I have these... 357 00:27:43,360 --> 00:27:45,120 these rare moments of grace 358 00:27:45,320 --> 00:27:48,800 where I tell myself that my writing may be of interest... 359 00:27:50,520 --> 00:27:52,720 I use them more for... 360 00:27:55,120 --> 00:27:56,600 my prose, we will say. 361 00:27:58,040 --> 00:28:02,000 -Make these moments rare are becoming less and less so. 362 00:28:11,760 --> 00:28:12,800 Yes. 363 00:28:13,680 --> 00:28:14,680 It's good. 364 00:28:22,480 --> 00:28:23,920 10 minutes. 365 00:28:24,120 --> 00:28:25,600 Every morning. 366 00:28:25,920 --> 00:28:28,160 The head touches the ground. 367 00:28:28,480 --> 00:28:31,160 The pelvis firmly placed on the legs. 368 00:28:32,160 --> 00:28:34,640 And both arms stretched forward. 369 00:28:36,120 --> 00:28:40,240 And be careful not to tense up. I'll let you try. 370 00:28:52,040 --> 00:28:53,280 Head lower. 371 00:28:54,000 --> 00:28:55,320 So. 372 00:28:55,520 --> 00:28:56,920 Alright. 373 00:28:58,720 --> 00:29:00,760 Relax completely. 374 00:29:02,160 --> 00:29:03,800 Intriguing music 375 00:29:04,000 --> 00:29:10,640 ... 376 00:29:10,960 --> 00:29:12,800 -No, I can't do that! 377 00:29:13,120 --> 00:29:14,520 Sorry, I can't. 378 00:29:15,240 --> 00:29:20,280 ... 379 00:29:20,480 --> 00:29:22,480 Not in front of you, anyway. 380 00:29:24,680 --> 00:29:28,080 Soft music 381 00:29:28,280 --> 00:29:36,280 ... 382 00:31:10,400 --> 00:31:12,720 -Hello. 383 00:31:12,920 --> 00:31:14,280 -Are you leaving already? 384 00:31:15,920 --> 00:31:18,360 -Yes. I have a thousand things to do. 385 00:31:19,920 --> 00:31:21,160 -Of course, yes. 386 00:31:36,160 --> 00:31:37,800 I have to go out too. 387 00:31:38,800 --> 00:31:41,040 I am summoned by the authorities. 388 00:31:42,280 --> 00:31:43,400 -Yes. 389 00:31:43,600 --> 00:31:45,600 Clock ticking 390 00:31:45,800 --> 00:31:53,800 ... 391 00:31:59,840 --> 00:32:01,880 Passage of a plane 392 00:32:15,640 --> 00:32:16,920 -So... 393 00:32:17,600 --> 00:32:19,760 about kneeling... 394 00:32:20,080 --> 00:32:21,200 -I beg your pardon? 395 00:32:21,400 --> 00:32:23,160 - Exercise. - Yes. 396 00:32:24,880 --> 00:32:27,160 -The others, I like them. 397 00:32:27,360 --> 00:32:28,760 But not... 398 00:32:29,080 --> 00:32:30,240 not this one. 399 00:32:31,040 --> 00:32:32,200 -Oh no? 400 00:32:34,120 --> 00:32:36,920 -One day, I started writing a novel. 401 00:32:37,120 --> 00:32:39,720 "The young girl who did not know how to kneel. 402 00:32:40,200 --> 00:32:41,200 -Interesting. 403 00:32:42,200 --> 00:32:43,920 What is it about? 404 00:32:44,680 --> 00:32:45,680 -Well, actually... 405 00:32:45,880 --> 00:32:48,360 I didn't go further than the title. 406 00:32:49,640 --> 00:32:51,160 -Good title, by the way. 407 00:32:52,040 --> 00:32:54,120 What would stop it? to kneel? 408 00:32:55,160 --> 00:32:56,880 -There's no real reason. 409 00:32:57,200 --> 00:32:58,680 He must be missing a gene. 410 00:32:59,000 --> 00:33:00,040 Bicycle bell 411 00:33:00,360 --> 00:33:01,440 Be careful. 412 00:33:01,760 --> 00:33:02,760 Yes... 413 00:33:02,920 --> 00:33:04,440 Finally... - Don't move... 414 00:33:04,640 --> 00:33:06,120 Excuse me, I can hear better 415 00:33:06,440 --> 00:33:07,520 from this ear. 416 00:33:07,720 --> 00:33:09,160 -Ah... The gene... 417 00:33:09,360 --> 00:33:12,160 of religion. Faith in God or something like that. 418 00:33:13,120 --> 00:33:14,600 -Kneeling 419 00:33:14,800 --> 00:33:17,160 is not necessarily linked to a religion. 420 00:33:18,040 --> 00:33:20,680 -So in front of what Would we get down on our knees? 421 00:33:20,880 --> 00:33:21,960 There needs to be a reason. 422 00:33:23,880 --> 00:33:26,800 -It turns out that at one point, I realized that... 423 00:33:28,560 --> 00:33:30,960 that I could take this posture, 424 00:33:31,160 --> 00:33:33,040 common to many religions. 425 00:33:33,360 --> 00:33:35,760 Only physical posture. 426 00:33:36,680 --> 00:33:39,200 And also, of course, inner posture... 427 00:33:39,400 --> 00:33:40,600 Letting go. 428 00:33:40,920 --> 00:33:43,360 -That's it, there you go, letting go. 429 00:33:43,560 --> 00:33:45,000 I can't do that. 430 00:33:45,440 --> 00:33:47,240 -But you can do it. 431 00:33:48,880 --> 00:33:51,240 You just have to try it, you'll see. 432 00:33:51,440 --> 00:33:54,720 Get started without thinking too much. Without any expectations. 433 00:33:57,320 --> 00:33:59,200 -Okay, let's talk about it again next time. 434 00:33:59,520 --> 00:34:00,680 All right ? 435 00:34:01,240 --> 00:34:02,360 -I'm going that way, 436 00:34:02,680 --> 00:34:04,520 This is my path. - It's mine too. 437 00:34:08,360 --> 00:34:09,880 I wanted to tell you... 438 00:34:10,720 --> 00:34:13,080 I follow you really grateful. 439 00:34:14,400 --> 00:34:17,360 And I will pay what I owe you next week. 440 00:34:22,520 --> 00:34:26,520 -I'm not sure we have need further sessions. 441 00:34:28,280 --> 00:34:29,360 -And why? 442 00:34:31,360 --> 00:34:35,160 -I'm not an avid follower psychoanalysis, 443 00:34:35,480 --> 00:34:38,000 years of interviews never ending. 444 00:34:39,400 --> 00:34:42,600 And you already know everything you need to know. 445 00:34:42,800 --> 00:34:43,800 -No. 446 00:34:44,120 --> 00:34:45,120 No. 447 00:34:46,120 --> 00:34:47,560 I don't think so, no. 448 00:34:48,480 --> 00:34:51,440 On the contrary, it would help me, I am sure, of... 449 00:34:51,640 --> 00:34:53,520 to talk about it again with you. 450 00:34:55,200 --> 00:34:57,320 -Practice as we said. 451 00:35:00,120 --> 00:35:02,720 It's good that it depends of you now. 452 00:35:05,480 --> 00:35:06,680 -I... 453 00:35:07,920 --> 00:35:10,400 What is there annoying for you 454 00:35:10,600 --> 00:35:12,400 in seeing me again? 455 00:35:15,520 --> 00:35:18,320 I thought it was the interest of the diary, 456 00:35:18,520 --> 00:35:21,000 that I note my progress and read it to you. 457 00:35:21,200 --> 00:35:23,840 -No, you keep this diary for yourself. 458 00:35:24,600 --> 00:35:28,120 You have to write things down that no one else will read 459 00:35:28,320 --> 00:35:30,840 and who are not intended to please. 460 00:35:31,600 --> 00:35:33,480 Neither to yourself nor to anyone. 461 00:35:46,120 --> 00:35:48,240 -Actually, I don't know, I tell myself that... 462 00:35:50,800 --> 00:35:52,960 there is perhaps another reason... 463 00:35:55,320 --> 00:35:58,320 so that you have more too want to see me again. 464 00:36:01,200 --> 00:36:02,280 -Maybe. 465 00:36:03,560 --> 00:36:04,760 Maybe there is that. 466 00:36:11,240 --> 00:36:12,640 I have to go. 467 00:36:14,560 --> 00:36:16,000 -Yes, I... 468 00:36:16,200 --> 00:36:17,200 me too. 469 00:36:29,000 --> 00:36:30,600 -And by the way, they... 470 00:36:31,280 --> 00:36:32,720 Why are they summoning you? 471 00:36:33,040 --> 00:36:35,000 -Uh... a formality. 472 00:36:35,560 --> 00:36:37,560 The refugees must be recorded. 473 00:36:41,040 --> 00:36:43,160 -You want that I accompany you? 474 00:36:43,360 --> 00:36:44,720 To help you? 475 00:36:45,720 --> 00:36:47,840 -No, that's nice. It'll be fine. 476 00:36:48,040 --> 00:36:49,600 It's just paperwork to fill out. 477 00:36:50,480 --> 00:36:52,280 Take care, Etty. 478 00:36:53,560 --> 00:36:54,640 -Bye. 479 00:37:01,800 --> 00:37:02,800 -Good morning. 480 00:37:13,000 --> 00:37:14,000 -The bastard! 481 00:37:15,640 --> 00:37:17,680 He takes me literally by the hand, 482 00:37:18,000 --> 00:37:21,400 he said to me: “This is how you should live.” 483 00:37:21,600 --> 00:37:23,560 And then he lets me go. 484 00:37:25,320 --> 00:37:27,760 All my life, I only dreamed of this: 485 00:37:28,080 --> 00:37:30,680 let someone take me by the hand and someone watches over me. 486 00:37:32,600 --> 00:37:35,400 I look strong, I take on everything, all alone, 487 00:37:35,600 --> 00:37:38,600 but I wish I could rest on the shoulder of another. 488 00:37:41,520 --> 00:37:45,040 But hey, maybe that's it, precisely, letting go. 489 00:37:52,680 --> 00:37:54,160 Ah, there you are! Good morning. 490 00:37:55,920 --> 00:37:57,880 Soaring music 491 00:37:58,080 --> 00:38:02,280 ... 492 00:38:17,360 --> 00:38:18,760 “Well, let’s go. 493 00:38:21,480 --> 00:38:25,120 “Painful moment and almost insurmountable for me. 494 00:38:26,640 --> 00:38:28,120 “Overcome my reluctance 495 00:38:28,320 --> 00:38:31,880 "and indulge in a candid piece of graph paper. 496 00:38:33,720 --> 00:38:35,360 “So many inhibitions... 497 00:38:36,320 --> 00:38:40,000 "I don't dare express things, let them flow freely. 498 00:38:40,200 --> 00:38:41,720 “It will be necessary, however. 499 00:38:42,040 --> 00:38:43,920 "If I want to give to my life a course 500 00:38:44,240 --> 00:38:46,240 "reasonable and satisfactory. 501 00:38:48,960 --> 00:38:50,720 "Like when I make love, 502 00:38:50,920 --> 00:38:55,120 "and that the final cry of deliverance gets stuck in my chest. 503 00:38:59,240 --> 00:39:00,920 "Which brings us to S. 504 00:39:02,520 --> 00:39:04,640 "Since I don't like him as a man, 505 00:39:04,840 --> 00:39:08,760 "could it be only this desire annoying to want to own it? 506 00:39:10,880 --> 00:39:11,880 "I admit, 507 00:39:12,080 --> 00:39:15,600 "my fantasies about him have something unhealthy. 508 00:39:15,800 --> 00:39:18,640 "A bit like experimentation, a game. 509 00:39:18,840 --> 00:39:20,840 "But if one of these erotic desires 510 00:39:21,040 --> 00:39:22,960 "was about to come true, 511 00:39:23,160 --> 00:39:26,240 “I would step back like a scared little schoolgirl. 512 00:39:26,840 --> 00:39:28,600 “I know that perfectly well. 513 00:39:29,760 --> 00:39:31,920 “We must be able to ban them.” 514 00:39:33,080 --> 00:39:36,880 Yes, well, maybe I will read something else. 515 00:39:38,360 --> 00:39:40,160 -Keep going, it’s great. 516 00:39:40,480 --> 00:39:42,200 -I don't know, it's really 517 00:39:42,520 --> 00:39:43,600 too personal. 518 00:39:44,920 --> 00:39:47,480 -When it is well written, it’s always personal. 519 00:39:55,720 --> 00:39:57,120 -Yes, okay. 520 00:40:03,560 --> 00:40:06,160 "But my body betrays my spirit. 521 00:40:08,320 --> 00:40:11,720 "I recovered swearing like a carter. 522 00:40:13,120 --> 00:40:15,280 "And at that moment, I understood the monks 523 00:40:15,480 --> 00:40:18,360 "who flagellate themselves to tame guilty flesh. 524 00:40:19,440 --> 00:40:23,040 "I know that the fight for freeing myself from S. will be difficult. 525 00:40:25,000 --> 00:40:29,240 "His mouth and his body were so close to me yesterday, 526 00:40:30,400 --> 00:40:33,120 "that it will be impossible for me to forget them." 527 00:40:33,360 --> 00:40:35,440 Serious music 528 00:40:35,640 --> 00:40:41,040 ... 529 00:41:21,920 --> 00:41:23,840 SME subtitling: VECTRACOM